Ain't Staying Alive
Ain't Staying Alive (or Discaztec) is a song from the Horrible Histories TV Series. It aired in Series 3, Episode 9 on June 28, 2011, then in the Savage Songs Special, & later on in the Scary Special. A parody of the Bees Gees' "Stayin' Alive", it stars the Aztec priests, who sing about their cruel sacrificial practices. Lyrics Priest 1: We’re Aztec priests so mind your head, Our prisoners always wind up dead. Our favorite color is blood red, We’re not nice. Priest 2: At an Aztec temples opening day, We priests would please the gods this way. Hoards of enemies we’d slay, Mass sacrifice. Priest 3: To win at war, make crops grow more, To cure our kids when ill. The sun to shine, this song to rhyme, More victims we must kill. All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Priest 1: You won’t survive! You won’t survive! All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Priest 1: Ain’t staying alive! Ain’t staying alive! Yeah! Priest 2: With sacrifice, we priest appease, Our gods each powerful big cheese. Let's hear it for your favorites please! Haaa! Priests 1 & 3: We’re doing it for Toci! Priest 2: The Aztec goddess of the earth’s heart. Priests 1 & 3: We’re doing it for Chantigo! Priest 2: Goddess who makes volcanoes start. Priests 1 & 3: We’re doing it for Itzli! Priest 2: The goddess of stone knives. Priests 1 & 3: We’re doing it for Itzpapalotlometeotlchiconahuiehecatl! Priest 2: Errr...? Some other gods great lives! All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Priest 1: Don’t cross us Aztecs, we advise ya! All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Priest 1: Or you’ll end up as fertilizer! Yeahhhhh! Priest 3: Our year starts in November when every priestly member, Is asked if they’ll remember, our Aztec dead. Priest 2: We do this if you haven’t guessed, by getting something off your chest, Your heart would probably be best, or else your head. Priest 1: And then on our year planners, it’s the raising of the banners, And it’s only polite manners, to kill more guys. Priest 3: December & January, dismembering methods vary, All you need to know is that we pile them high. Priest 2: May & June, it’s summertime, the killing is easy, It’s only halfway through the year, bet you’re feeling queasy. Priest 1: '''In autumn time, we sweep our home & kill some more but then, By late October, the killing's over, then it starts up again! '''All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Priest 1: '''You won’t survive! You won’t survive! '''All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Priest 1: '''Ain’t staying alive! Ain’t staying alive! '''All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Priest 1: '''Want to live until you’re old? '''All: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! '''Priest 1: '''Avoid us priests; you’ve been told! Cast *Laurence Rickard as an Aztec priest (1) *Jim Howick as an Aztec priest (2) *Mathew Baynton as an Aztec priest (3) Notes *Having appeared in three episodes, this song has had the most appearances. *In the Scary Special, the song was sped up slightly to fit. External Links *Ain't Staying Alive at Horrible Histories TV Category:Horrible Histories Category:Horrible Histories 2009-2011 TV Series Category:Series 3 of Horrible Histories 2009-2011 TV Series Category:Series 4 of Horrible Histories 2009-13 TV Series Category:Savage Songs Category:Songs Category:Angry Aztecs (Sketches)